June 13

Last night I laid in my bunk reading. A young kid came up to me and asked if I was reading the bible. He thought I was underlining scripture mostly because that’s what he thought someone would read. I showed him the passage I was underlining:

“Sobriety is okay enough,” Denny says, “but someday, I’d like to live a life based on doing good stuff instead of just not doing bad stuff.”

-Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

He asked me about the book. I told him that the protagonist is a sex addict who scams people into “saving his life” when he forces himself to choke on food. They in turn feel like heroes, and responsible for his life and they start sending him money.

That part’s cool but I felt I should tell him the bottom line, that this guy does all sorts of fucked up shit to get people to love him. Even when he’s with a strange girl he whispers “I love you” to them. So I felt a little strange explaining to an inmate from another race that love was at the core of what this man was looking for, not money, power, or women. Love. I was surprised when he didn’t blow it off but seemed to understand. There was an odd moment where we understood each other. Understand, that this especially took me off guard, considering he and the majority of inmates talk about respect, prison politics, and meth. That’s partially why I read so much. Nobody wants to talk about anything other than the shit that put them here.

Enough with the sensitive chick bullshit. I sound like such a twat. LoL. Let’s get back to violence…