June 27

It’s getting harder to write these for some reason. It could be the 10 hour days in the kitchen or the routine when I’m back in the dorm. I’m getting frustrated with the stories people tell in here. One guy always talks about his time in prison, we’re friends so I give him shit for it but the lies people tell irritate me most.

See, the best way to get through time here is to be involved. Partially. I’m involved enough that when something happens with the woods (whites) I’m asked for input but for the most part I keep to myself. My lack of “participation” with most people is because I can’t stand the lies. A guy who’s in my cube is probably the worst of them. He talks about all the things he has on the outside all day. If it’s not that he’s kissing ass and and trying to be popular. The way he walks is even exaggerated that I’ve noticed since I’ve been here and my friend who knows him from outside jail said he’s a completely different person.

As I’m writing this he just asked me if I’m still writing my journal entries. He said “That’s cool, I was gonna do that too but I can’t find time.”

It must be very difficult to find time to write between playing cards, doing drugs, getting tattoos, and “beating people up” (his words not mine).

“If you keep your mind from judging you will find peace.” - Tao

Guess I’m fucked…

The fact is, he’s 25 but when I can’t find anytime to read, write, or meditate without hearing his voice I fail to be understanding. I hate that this whole entry is about him but I can’t lie in my bed without hearing his fucking voice. Fuck I’m tired and this entry seems pointless. Maybe I’ll go find some seroquel for him so I can sleep. Lol.