July 15

They say the bologna is not for human consumption. They said there’s a sticker on boxes they come in that even says so. I believed them, probably not because I’m entirely gullible but because the conspiracy theories are fun to talk about. The stories you hear in here, Jesus Christ, it’s amazing. It’s as if your surrounded by a bunch of compulsive liars playing telephone… probably ‘cause you are. IT’s especially annoying because all people do here is talk. Talk, talk, talk, talk… talk.

OK, I’m being a little unfair, I’m referring mainly to the kids in their early twenties… for the most part.

Since I can’t shut them up, I’ve made ear plugs, or I talk to them and pretend to believe every word. I enthusiastically nod and say things like, “No way”, “Get outta here”, “you’re shittin’ me,” and ask them questions. Lots of questions, kind of like a choose-your-own-adventure of sorts. Note: If you try this at home, control your laughter. Compulsive liars tend to have other emotional issues and are quick to violence.

LoL. Jail! Am I right? Addendum: I use the term “jail” in the loosest possible manner. I’m not saying it’s not technically a jail but I guess due to lack of maturity it feels like a juvenile hall or like I’m in that Disney movie “Holes.”